Wow, I nearly forgot I had this thing.  Life has been pretty busy lately, and I was just lazy over winter break.  Though, this won't be a long post.

You'll notice that I didn't do a year in review for 2006, which is unlike the past three years.  Frankly, I think all I've posted during 2006 tells the tale.  It was a strange year of ups and downs (especially the first half) that I'd rather move past.  2006 was a lot like 2002 in many respects, which wasn't the best state of affairs for myself.  Anyway, the second half was the first semester of graduate school, and all that brings.  That year is over and done with.

For this year though, I had only one New Years Resolution: to pass the elementary qualifying exam.  That's actually the reason I'm posting here.  The retake is in one week, and I'll be honest, I'm rather nervous about it.  In fact, I describe it as being scared.  Here's why.  If I fail this test, I'm out of the graduate program.  That means that my plans for the future are derailed, and that my four and a half years of physics education amount to absolutely nothing.  Unless I teach high school (which requires more school on my part anyway), my B.S. degree in physics is useless.  I've never been in this situation before; a single test that will make or break my career.  I've been stressed, but the pressure I'm feeling right now is rather unlike anything I've ever encountered.

I'm more prepared and confident than last time, but I can't shake this feeling.  I wish there was some way to feel more resolute about this, that there was some way that I could be convinced that everything will be all right. 

This is rather out of character for me.  Tests don't normally freak me out, even if they are important exams.  I've dealt with situations of immense stress before, and with a collected state of mind.  Aside from the finality of this test, I don't understand why I feel like this.  It's disconcerting.

All I can do is study and prepare.  I have only one option: success.  I cannot fail.  Despite this, I doubt this feeling will go away.  It will remain until the test, and although I'll feel relief immediately following the exam, the dread will come back until I open the letter telling me whether or not I pass.

I don't like this.  At all.

Just got to get through the week.  That's all the time I have for writing at the moment.

Later.